Teamwork

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Teamwork. It goes a little something like this: “Hand?” says Finn, the agent provocateur. He’s standing in his crib, which is positioned between his brothers’ in the nursery. He holds his hand out to Jem. Jem is down for a little adventure. He gamely grabs Finn’s arm and starts pulling himself and his crib towards his brother. Jem ...

This Magic Elmoment

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  Our boys are talking a lot these days. They say, “I want more” and “All gone” and “Here ya go” and “I don’t want it.” But it’s “Elmo” (or “Melmo,” according to Jem) that we hear more than any other word during the day, and that’s because our kids see the world through Elmo-colored glasses. “Elmo!” they ...

Punk as Fudge

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  Have you ever read Cheryl Strayed? A friend introduced me to her and I spent the next couple weeks curled up with my laptop, weepily making my way through “Dear Sugar” columns and feeling bad about myself because, compared to her, my writing had as much wisdom and beauty as a sack of farts. She’s ...

Boys

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I grew up in a house filled with sisters, ruled by a hard-working, virtuous mother. I have a wonderful brother and father, too, whose male energy was systematically drained every day by our henpecking. All of my best buds were women, and those buds are still my best to this day. And maybe it’s because strong ...

The Mother Load

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Here’s a true story. One year, for Valentine’s Day, my boyfriend at the time gave me a framed photograph of himself and a membership to the gym. When I unwrapped these gifts, my jaw dropped open and all the Doritos in my mouth fell out. I mean, I wasn’t overweight, but I probably could have been ...

Toddlerdom: One Wack Kakistocracy

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Based on observations of my own children, a toddler-mandated world order would go as follows:   Basketball games would consist of one player running down the court with the ball while his teammates trailed behind him, crying. If someone started to speak to you, it would be perfectly acceptable to shove both of your hands in their mouth. It ...

The Cold Never Bothered Me Anyway (And Other Lies)

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BOW DOWN BEFORE THE ONE YOU SERVE   The other day I was having lunch with a friend. She is a writer and a yoga instructor and basically a beautiful unicorn that radiates wisdom and kindness and patience. Somehow “Frozen” came up during our conversation and I said I thought the movie was pretty cool because the ...